As I say, I have no doubt that the results of my research will appear in many scientific journals, but you can read it here first. I have discovered that the human race can be divided into two main types of people: dog people; and the rest.
Now, you might think that is too simplistic. Why not, you suggest, say that humankind can be split into cat people and the rest, or fish-eaters and the rest? To which I would respond, that there are distinct differences between dog people and the rest that are not displayed by any other possible definition. So bear with me, bear with me. All will be revealed.
First, I should explain that by 'dog people' I do not necessarily mean people who own dogs. Nor even people who merely like dogs but don't own one. No, my dog people do not have to be dog owners or even dog lovers. Indeed, I would go so far as to admit the possibility that some dog people actually dislike dogs!
I did sat that I have been conducting this research over some years. Indeed, the basic groundwork was established, ooh, fifty years ago or thereabouts, but it is only in the last ten years or so that the results have become clearer, sufficiently clear for them to be published. And my research has been conducted the length and breadth of England, although most of it has been concentrated in and around Brighton.
But perhaps I have titivated your senses enough and should now reveal those results.
When people - strangers - pass each other while out walking, whether it be with or without dogs, dog people will greet each other, possibly with a simple "Good morning", possibly stopping to pass the time of day. the rest, on the other hand, walk past as though the other person doesn't exists; there is not even any eye contact. I did say that it is not necessary for a dog or dogs to be present but it is noticeable that people with dogs are far more likely to greet strangers than those without dogs, which is why I divide the human race into dog people and the rest. regrettably, the lack of funding available for my research has prevented me from producing numbers to back up my assertion, but let me just say that while walking in Stanmer Great Wood yesterday afternoon, I passed four individuals and a group of three or four. Three of the individuals had dogs with them and, without exception, each of them greeted me. The fourth individual was running and passed me with merely a glance, while the group seemed to be oblivious to my presence.
Dog people are much more sociable.
|Dog walkers in Withdean Park, Brighton|
I can't leave you without mentioned the death yesterday of Acker Bilk, aged 85. What a superb jazz clarinetist, best remembered perhaps for Stranger on the Shore.