Saturday, 11 January 2014

The chicken

I've been feeling out of sorts the last few days.  Didn't really want to do anything, it was all too much trouble, mainly because I was feeling knackered.  Having allowed myself a lie-in this morning (all of 45 minutes!) I'm feeling a whole lot better.  So, for what it's worth - and that ain't a lot! - here's a little story.

Driving back to Brighton one day down the M23, I glanced in the mirror and saw what appeared to be a chicken running down the road.  Another glance a couple of seconds later confirmed that it was indeed a chicken - and it was gaining on me.  Very soon it actually passed me and I noticed that it had three legs.  Intrigued, I pressed down on the accelerator to follow this strange bird.  When it took the Warninglid turn-off, I followed.

That bird ran through the country lanes like a demented road runner; it was all I could do to keep it in sight.  Eventually, it turned into a farmyard.  By the time I pulled in, the chicken had vanished.  I got out of the car and, as I stood there scratching my head, an old man came out of a barn.

"Excuse me," I called.  "I thought I saw a three-legged chicken turn into this farm."

"Ar," replied the old boy in a strong Sussex accent.  "That'd be 'bout roight.  Oi breeds 'em."

Seeing my astonished face, he went on to explain.

"You see, there's the three on us - me, the missus and the boy - and when we have a chicken dinner, we all wants a leg and there's terrible argyments.  So Oi decoided ter do summat 'bout it and Oi bred these 'ere three-legged 'ens."

"But has it made any difference to the taste?" I asked.

"Oi don't roightly know," replied the farmer.  "Oi'm still trying to catch one of the buggers."


It's a bright, sunny day today and forecast to stay that way all day.  A bit on the chilly side, perhaps, but not as bad as the photo on our kitchen calendar for this month.  For several years I have had a calendar printed specially, using photos I have taken myself.  I don't choose the pictures, that's a decision I leave to the Old Bat.  This was her choice for January a rather bleak view across the South Downs.


(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Good story for a Saturday morning.

joeh said...

Good one!

Buck said...

What a brilliant idea for a calendar! There are "make your own" templates on these here inter-tubes and I might just try this.