Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Last Saturday

I've been thinking quite a lot about the events of last Saturday morning. I really had not wanted to go but She Who Must be Obeyed had expressed the wish to be there and it was implicit that she should be accompanied by her husband. Friends were marking their 45th wedding anniversary, the 'bride' being one of a group, originally six in number, who have been friends since their school days. They have continued to meet more or less monthly for the past 50 years (or since the first of them married). The group has shrunk as one has died and one is now more or less housebound and needs a wheelchair to get out. As she is unmarried and lives alone she doesn't get out much but the others visit her from time to time. The one whose wedding anniversary was at the weekend has a brain tumour and is spending her last days in a nursing home. It is thought that she can no longer see although she can still hear. Whether or not she recognises anybody - husband, daughters, sons, friends - is uncertain but seems almost unlikely.

I'm not good at hospital visiting. I never know what to say, for one thing, small talk not being a strong point of mine. It seemed to me that what was planned was almost like a wake - only the deceased would be joining in. Only of course she couldn't. She sat slumped in a wheelchair for almost an hour before being taken back to her room, shortly after which SWMBO agreed to leave. While it wasn't as grim as I had expected, I can think of better ways to spend a morning.

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