To the pub!

We read much about diets in the daily newspapers, and I have a fascinating new one which will thrill my readers. It's called the Beer Diet. We all know that a 'calorie' is the energy needed to heat 1g or 0.0350z of water from the temperature of 21.5 centigrade to 22.5 centigrade. This Law of Thermodynamics dictates that if we drink 200ml or 8oz of cold water at the temperature of 0 degrees centigrade - and of course, this is just for the sake of our argument, so don't rush off and try it, we will need 200 calories to heat the water until the temperature reaches the point of 1c.

For a precise balance of corporal temperature, we need approximately 7,400 calories to heat 200g or 8oz of cold water to normal body temperature of 37c (200mlx37c). To keep this body temperature, our body uses the only source of energy available in our system: body fat. In fact, our body needs to consume this fat to keep the right body temperature, as shown by the Law of Thermodynamics.

Now, if someone drinks a pint of beer at the temperature of 0c, this person should lose roughly 18,500 calories (500ml x 37c). But we shouldn't forget to deduct the calories for beer which are approximately 800 for each 500ml of beer intake.

For all of these reasons, we can conclude that a person who drinks a very cold pint daily may lose 17,700 calories. Clearly, the colder the beer, the better it is to burn calories.

So, why waste your time in the gym if cycling and running will consume only 1,000 calories per hour? Friends, do not be silly - losing weight can be simple and very pleasant. All you need to do is to drink lots of pints of cold beer daily and let the Law of Thermodynamics take care of the rest. Long life and health to all. What are you waiting for? Go to the pub - NOW!!!