Telephonic tactics

It is now a good many years since I signed up for the Telephone Preference Service (TPS).  This is a scheme which should ensure that we receive none of those cold sales calls on our phone.  Note that I say "should".  The scheme does rely on companies using cold-calling to maintain an up-to-date list of numbers NOT to be called.  Presumably this is done mechanically as so many of these companies use automated dialling.  On the whole, it does work.  But there are ways round it.  For example, many companies now say they are not selling anything but are simply conducting a survey - and that is not proscribed by the TPS.   And the TPS only covers calls from this country, calls from overseas are outside the scope of the scheme.  So many companies now use call centres in such paces as India - or even the USA.  And then, of course, there are the phishig calls, the ones that purport to be coming from Microsoft Technical Department to advise you that there is a fault on your computer.  For the miserly sum of £250 they will "fix" the non-existent fault - and harvest all sorts of personal data while they are at it.

I usually tell the supposed Microsoft boys that I'm not falling for that scam and tell anyone else that I'm too busy to take their call.  But there are a few tactics that I just love to employ from time to time.  Take yesterday for example.

Me:  123987 (quoting my phone number)

Indian gent:  Can I talk to Mr S?

Me:  What do you want to talk to him about?

IG: I just want two minutes of your time.  We're conducting a survey.

Me:  How do you know Mr S?

IG:  I don't.

Me:  The why are you calling him?
        (Aside:  Sergeant, put a trace on this number, will you?)

IG: We are conducting a survey.

Me:  What number are you calling from?

IG:  I don't have a number.

Me:  You must have a telephone number - you are using a phone.

And so it went on until I told him we had succeeded in tracing his number and would ring him back as part of our investigation into (an unspecified) crime.  I have to say that IG was particularly thick.  I don't usually get anywhere near that point before they hang up.

Another good one (which the Old Bat has banned) goes as follows:

Me:  Ooh, you do sound nice.  Will you be my friend?

Caller:  usually mumbles something.

Me:  Go on, say you'll be my friend.  I haven't got any friends and you do sound nice.

I leave the rest to your imagination.

~~~~~

We reach the end of the bridge series of pictures today with a bridge that must surely be recognised by everyone.  In case of problems, though, here is a clue.  I'm told it's frequently foggy in that area, so a bit of mist in the photo is quite appropriate.