The French have a word for it

Or maybe I should write that very soon the French will have had a word for it.

(Is that a verb in the future past tense?)

Today I am contemplating - possibly at inordinate length - the subject of courtesy titles here in England and there in France. I will start there in France - or perhaps not, since the newspaper report I saw was published here in England. But it concerned France. The report stated that the feminist movement in France have succeeded in persuading the French government to abandon the use of the word "mademoiselle". In future all women will be "mesdames". The reasoning is that as men are always "monsieur" without indicating their married or unmarried state, why should a woman have to indicate whether or not she is married? You have to admit - well, I do, anyway - they have a point.

Similarly, why does a woman change her name on marriage in these enlightened days? Surely, this is a practice which dates back to the days when a wife was no more than a chattel, a possession of her husband. Mind you, I do know one woman who, after marriage, insisted on retaining both the title "Miss" and her maiden name.

But to get back to the subject. One benefit of doing away with mademoiselle is that I won't any longer have to try to work out whether the lady at the supermarket checkout (or anywhere else for that matter) is married or not. Actually, I don't bother to work it out now. If she is under about 40 I plump for mademoiselle on the grounds that she is so uch younger than me that "miss" doesn't seem too unreasonable. Older than that and I just sort of grunt after the obligatory "bonjour". I reckon that a wide smile and an English accent will let me get away with what would, for a Frenchman, be impolite.

Of course, here in England we fail to use any of these words most of the time. I can't imagine calling a waiter with the words, "Please, mister" which the French would use automatically: "S'il vous plait, monsieur". I suppose one might address a waitress as "miss" but perhaps we have become too politically correct - or too afraid of seeming to be politically incorrect - to use that word nowadays.

Perhaps the time will come when we revert to the word used during and in the immediate aftermath of the French revolution: "citoyen" (citizen); or the Russian "comrade". I hope not. One of the things I like about France is the continued use of those courtesy titles, the equivalent of our English "sir", "madam" and "miss". Literally, my sire (monsieur), my dame (ma dame) and my damsel (ma demoiselle).

Things just ain't what they used to be.