Yippee! Terra cotta tiles

As I had expected, Mrs S was over the moon when I told her about the tiles beneath the carpet, although I did try to warn her that clearing the screeding might be an impossible job. This was confirmed by a builder friend who, true to form, sucked air in through his teeth when I explained the problem. I had asked him what was the best substance to use to remove the screeding, to which he responded by telling me that it would prove impossible. The latex used in the self-levelling screeding would cling to the tiles tighter than a barnacle to a bilge and nothing, but nothing, could remove it. When I relayed this conversation to Mrs S she was, not surprisingly, disappointed to say the least – so much so that I promised to see what could be done. I should have listened to Bill the Builder.

On my next trip to France I took with me a wallpaper steamer, cement remover and hydrochloric acid – along with flat-packs containing three 1000mm kitchen base units, two 1000mm kitchen wall units, a sink top, all the relevant doors and drawers and the work top. The poor old car was beginning to learn what was in store for it. Along with all the tools etc I took a camp bed and sleeping bag having decided that our budget wouldn't stretch to a hotel. I think Mrs S also had the idea this would mean I could work longer hours. I did, however, draw he line at self-catering, apart from breakfast and lunch, which gave me an opportunity to check out some of the local restaurants.

Neither the wallpaper steamer, the cement remover nor the hydrochloric acid had any effect whatsoever on the screeding. As a result, I spent one day putting together the kitchen units, removing the wainscotting in the kitchen and stripping most of the wallpaper in the living room. The other three and a half days were spent on my knees with a wallpaper scraper removing the screeding in the downstairs bedroom. With one four-inch-square tile sometimes taking an hour to clear, I had uncovered perhaps two-thirds of the tiles by the time I left Les Lavandes for the drive to Cherbourg and the Portsmouth ferry.