A medical break-through

"Experts" from the University of Queensland have conducted research that, they say, proves that every hour we spend watching television shortens our lives by 22 minutes.

When I read the report in the nespaper this week, my second thought (we'll come back to my first thought in a minute) was, 'How did they conduct this research?' I assumed that the researchers spent several years on their studies, having first found several hundred subjects who were willing to provide accurate details of how long they spent in front of the idiot box. Presumably those volunteers were also required to send in a report of exactly when they croaked.

Then I had another thought. What if the so-called experts had it the wrong way round? Was it watching television that was the cause of people's early demise or could it be that those people who were more likely to die early were just the sort to watch more television? Anyway, how could they tell that if Joe Bloggs had not watched that football match he would have lived an extra 22 minutes?

OK, I fully agree that watching a lot of television would drive me to an early grave - out of sheer boredom!

But does anyone really believe this? Or care?

To get back to my first thought. Why didn't I go to university and get paid to do research leading to such earth-shattering conclusions?