The stiff upper lip is starting to tremble

There were two articles in yesterday's newspaper, completely unrelated, where I saw a tenuous link. Very tenuous.

The first was a short paragraph, a filler, which reported the result of a survey that had been carried out into the display of emotion by British men. For many years the British have considered a stiff upper lip to be a sign of manhood. A true man doesn't display emotion in public, was the view of most people. Apparently, that is changing and British men are now quite content to display emotion and are even unembarrassed to be seen crying. That would certainly not have been the case only a few years ago. Indeed, most men I know would still prefer to keep their upper lips stiff.

The second article reported the forthcoming closure of the RAF base at Lyneham in Wiltshire. As I said, the connection between these items is very tenuous - but bear with me and I will explain my rather tortuous thought processes.

RAF Lyneham is the base through which British servicemen killed in Afghanistan are repatriated. They are then driven to Oxford, where post mortems are carried out and inquests are held. On the way they pass through the small town of Wootton Bassett and it is here where a small, unofficial ceremony has become a new tradition. As the cortege reaches the town, the church bell is tolled and people leave the shops to line the street. The cortege halts for a moment by the war memorial and flag bearers of the British Legion dip their banners as a mark of respect. This little ceremony started in a very small way but has gradually grown with people travelling many miles to attend whenever another body is brought back to England. The crowd stands mainly in silence, although there may be quiet applause, but a few people throw flowers onto the hearses.

These spontaneous acts, moving as they are, seem to me to be rather un-British. Granted, the stiff upper lip is much in evidence, but this is not quite the sort of thing that has been seen before in this country. I suppose this is partly because, in the past - even as recently as the Falklands war, British servicemen have been buried close to where they fell. But I think it also demonstrates a grain of truth in that other newspaper report about the survey.

Perhaps this all started with the late Diana, Princess of Wales. Despite her faults (or maybe because of some of them), she was highly popular. Granted, she was good looking, glamorous even, and elegant, but what endeared her to people both in Britain and abroad was the fact that she so obviously cared for people. She was unafraid to pick up and cuddle a child with AIDS or shake the hand of a leper. A gentle touch on the arm of an elderly person was almost a healing touch. She showed she cared. After her death, the British people reacted in a most uncharacteristic way. I was travelling to work in London in those days and I have never before or since seen to many Union flags flying, all at half mast. There were acres of bouquets laid in front of her London residence. Even the Queen was forced, by barely spoken but nonetheless palpable public demand, to cut short her holiday and return to London.

Such public displays were unheard of in England before then and it was this, I think, that started that upper lip trembling. But I don't think the lip will really give way. There is still too much respect paid to people like the widow of Staff Sergeant Olaf Schmid, a bomb disposal expert who was killed in Afghanistan. Christina Schmid has shown nothing in public but pride in her husband's achievements and has done her grieving in private. And that, after all, is the way most Englishmen think it should be done.