The Secret Diary - Day 1

Prologue. We were to be a party of seven - four Lions (Bill, Roy, Tony and me), one Lioness (Sue), one Leo (Amanda) and a fireman from Essex (Martin) who had been to Bosnia before with a firemen's charity and had the necessary contacts and who would act as the second lorry driver. Few, if any, of us had met until the first (and last) get-together before we met at Horsham for our departure.

Monday, 21st October 1996. Trafalgar Day.

0800, Broadbridge Heath. The weather is bright as the team for Sarajevo assembles in the car park beside Tesco's. At least, four of the team assemble. Bill, Brian, Manda and Sue are here - what's happened to Roy and Tony and (What was his name? Oh, yes.) Martin Illings, the fireman who has agreed to come with us as the second HGV driver? Roy and Tony soon arrive in the second lorry. Problem number 1: Martin Illings has pulled out, as late as Saturday apparently. Local radio reporter who is here to cover the departure calls the station, who put out an appeal. Sue rings a friend (Katy) who is a freelance lorry driver but only gets the answering machine.

0900 All the bigwigs are here now - DG Mike Adams, VDG Bill Blake, Mayor (or is he Chairman?) of Horsham, Uncle Tom Cobley and all - for civic send off. Speeches from DG Mike and Chairman (not Mayor after all!), prayers from Chairman's chaplain. Too windy to hear what they said, but perhaps the local radio reporter had better luck. Hope so, as it was being broadcast live. TV was supposed to be here. We even unwrapped the artic ready for them, but had to wrap it up again. All a bit pointless really. Then into Tesco's for breakfast.

1045 No response to pleas for a driver, so we decide to chance it and twist someone's arm to take the lorry at least as far as Dover. Someone says that we will pick up another driver in Calais. Really?

1200 Clacketts Lane services, M25. Wow, we are making progress! Stopped to wait for Martin Illings to come over from Essex with rather important documents, like green cards and customs papers. Meanwhile, Sue tries her friend again. Amazingly, Katy agrees to throw a few things into a bag and meet us at Dover. While we wait for Martin, Roy shows us all the fax from the Foreign Office which says "Don't go to Bosnia". Bit late now!

1415 Dover Eastern Docks. We've refuelled the lorries (£180!!) and Bill and Sue drive off to meet up with Katy. While they wait, they decide that they need to top up as well. Seems to take an age and the fuel gauge shows the same after £20-worth of 4 star. After Katy arrives and leaves her car in the police compound at the docks, we move forward to Customs. Easy enough to seal the artic with the special cord that goes right round, but the cord for the smaller lorry is too short. Roy takes the camper to the nearest supplier, the other side of Dover, but returns with a second cord the same length. Off again, for a short one to extend the original. While away, he decides to fill up with petrol (unleaded, not 4 star). So that's why the gauge didn't move. They had filled the fresh water tank with petrol. Roy remarkably calm.

1730ish Lorries sealed by Customs, on to get tickets. Whoops, the camper shouldn't have come this way. Sent back like a naughty puppy to get ticket in car lane. Still, we put it on the weighbridge so we know it goes 2753 kilos.

1845 We set sail, Roy having found his boarding card in the nick of time. All into the freight drivers' restaurant (you can't call it a caff) for 3 course meal plus quarter bottle of wine - £5.30. Fruit juice, tea, coffee free. Must try this again. Only just time to visit duty free. Brian says he must get the old bat some perfume or life won't be worth living.

2000 Calais. Decide to keep our watches on British Summer Time as the tacho clocks in the lorries show this and will have to stay like it to avoid confusion. Plan A shows us 5 hours earlier than this so that we could clear France and Belgium today and overnight at service area near Aachen. Agree to press on for 3 hours.

2300 or thereabouts. Service area near Lewen, east of Brussels. Time to call it a day. Put the kettle on, make up the bunks under Roy's tuition and eventually into bed at 0030.