Why is it . . .

• that one end of the shoelace gets so much longer than the other even though they were the same length when I first laced my shoes?
• that women squeeze the toothpaste in the middle of the tube?
• that a woman is unable to read a newspaper without screwing it up?
• that I can look at and admire a view or a picture, but when I so much as glance at an attractive young lady I am a dirty old man?