1066 and All That

My mind wandered in the way it so often does and after posting yesterday about the Hundred Years War and the battle of Poitiers, I drifted to other battles.  In particular, the Battle of Hastings, the battle which, more than any other, changed the course of England's history.   I suppose that if there is just one date set into the minds of Englishmen it is 1066.  That was the year of the Battle of Hastings, the last occasion on which any foreigner successfully invaded England.  (Since then there have been incursions by the Scots and a couple of abortive French attempts to land soldiers.)  The ultimate aim, almost the Holy Grail, of genealogists is to trace their family tree back to Hastings.  So 1066 is the pivotal point in the history of this country.

Many years after the Battle of Hastings, an abbey was built on the site of the battle and a small town, known as Battle, grew up around it.  However, there is now some dissension about the site of the battle with at least two other hills (it is known that the battle site was a hillside) being suggested as more likely. But I have no opinion about that.

Years ago I owned a history book entitled 1066 and All That.  I say it was a history book, but it was really a brief summary of the history of England over a period of 900 years, and historic events, such as the signing of Magna Carta, were described as either "a good thing" or "a bad thing".  In much the same vein, Stanley Holloway (best known for his part in the film My Fair Lady in which he played Eliza Doolittle's father) recited this piece of verse.  (You will need to read it in a Lancashire accent.)

Oh heck, I'm not at all sure that I can be bothered to type it all out - and you most probably wouldn't be bothered to read it, so I won't.  Instead, I'll drop in a picture of what many people have claimed has prevented other invasions - the white cliffs of Dover.

My mind went off on another perambulation about the white cliffs of Dover, but perhaps I'll save that for tomorrow.  Meanwhile, I've changed my mind.  Here's that Stanley Holloway monologue - in full.

I'll tell of the Battle of Hastings,
As happened in days long gone by,
When Duke William became King of England
And 'Arold got shot in the eye.

It were this way: one day in October
The Duke, who were always a toff,
Having no battles on at the moment,
Had given his lads a day off.

They'd all taken boats to go fishing,
When some chap in t'Conqueror's ear
Said, "Let's go and put breeze up the Saxons".
Said Bill, "By gum, that's an idea".

Then turning around to his soldiers
He lifted his big Norman voice,
Shouting, "Hands up who's coming to England".
That was swank 'cos they hadn't no choice.

They started away about tea-time
The sea was so calm and so still,
And at quarter to ten the next morning
They arrived at a place called Bexhill.

King 'Arold came up as they landed,
His face full of venom and 'ate,
He said, "If you've come for regatta
You've got here just six weeks too late".

At that William rose, cool but 'aughty,
And said, "Give us none of your cheek.
You'd best have your throne re-upholstered.
I'll be wanting to use it next week."

When 'Arold heard this 'ere defiance
With rage he turned purple and blue
And shouted some rude words in Saxon,
To which William answered, "And you".

'Twere a beautiful day for a battle;
The Normans set off with a will
And when both sides were duly assembled
They tossed for the top of the hill.

King 'Arold he won the advantage,
On t'hill-top he took up his stand,
With his knaves and his cads all around him
On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.

The Normans had nowt in their favour,
Their chance of a victory seemed small
For the slope of the field were against them,
And the wind in their faces and all.

The kick-off were sharp at two-thirty
And as soon as the whistle had went
Both sides started banging each other
Till the swineherds could hear them in Kent.

The Saxons had best line of forwards,
Well armed with both buckler and sword,
But the Normans had best combination
And when half-time came neither had scored.

So the Duke called his cohorts together
And said, "Let's pretend that we're beat.
Once we get Saxons down on the level
We'll cut off their means of retreat."

So they ran - and the Saxons ran after,
Just exactly as William had planned,
Leaving 'Arold alone on the hill-top
On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.

When the Conqueror saw what had happened
A bow and an arrow he drew;
He went right up to 'Arold and shot him.
He were off-side, but what could they do?

The Normans turned round in a fury
And gave back both parry and thrust
Till the fight were all over bar shouting
And you couldn't see Saxons for dust.

And after the battle were over
They found 'Arold so stately and grand,
Sitting there with an eyeful or arrow
On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.

Our first crocuses were in bloom yesterday when the sun came out.